Time Flies

Your renown is the desire of our souls.

Once the Passion Conference ended, I felt blank and I didn’t know why. I thought, maybe the 4 hours just weren’t enough and I didn’t get the answer I want from God?

I was wrong.

In fact, the message from Louie Giglio and the music impacted me so hard, until they spilled out.. It was far more than enough. It was uncontainable, until I couldn’t define how much I felt for Him. I just couldn’t help but to fall in love with this God that is so awesome, more and more. I love Him. I love Jesus, and I want to serve Him more. I want to give Him more. I want Him to use my life to make His Name famous because I know, my life belongs to Him. The moment when He changed my mother’s mind and saved me from abortion, gave me the second chance to be here on earth, I know for sure, my life belongs to Him. Without Him, who am I?

I always have plans for my future and what I want to do next, without direction and much prayer though. But I do put God inside my plans, which is to share the Gospel through my idea career, and I thought it should be okey.

I was wrong again.

They are just my own desires. Putting God inside them is just an excuse to make them appear as if they are parts of God’s plan for me, and making myself feel better. On the other hand, asking and having God to plan and walk with me? Is a whole different story. Just like what Clayton King said, the first principle - You know God’s will by doing it. Not only I should do something for Christ, but to always remind myself asking Him whether is it His will or not, and never stop searching for the right way, His way, the One way.

The second principle - If you pursue God, you will find His will, really hits me. I’ve been always trying hard to pursue my own dream, thinking what should I do or what step should I take in order to archive it, but I never thought about pursuing His dream instead. Therefore, I’ve put my focus more on my own desire than His, which is wrong. I should pursue God, pursue His dream, not mine. Though this is never an easy task, it is a good reminder for each one of us.

God’s will is reveal one step of faith at a time..

.. which is the third and last principle. This is particularly hard for me because I like to plan things, I tend to rush things and I am a perfectionist. I feel insecure if I don’t see the whole picture, so when I tend to rush things, I overlook the little things that God wants me to do before He allows me see the big things, and when I can’t see the whole picture and feel insecure, negative thoughts come in, my life turns miserable, then my faith starts to fade away. It’s life? Nah. It’s me. But that’s why I need Him, I need Jesus, to guide and lead me. The path might not be clear, but faith speaks louder than clarity here, even faith of a mustard seed can make a big difference.

My chains are gone, I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

This is a wonderful promise from God. Just the amazing grace is enough for us to surrender ourselves to Him, don’t you think so? The message from Louie Giglio really touched my heart. Chris Tomlin and Charlie Hall’s worship opened up my eyes as well. Now I would say, 4 hours were more than enough to change a person’s life. Passion Conference is a life changing experience?

Totally yes.

For there is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here

“Yes, Lord. Walking in the way of Your truth, we wait eagerly for You, for Your Name and Your renown are the desire of our souls.” Isaiah 26:8

Your renown is the desire of my soul.

I’m not leading, but You.

I’m just a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You, hear me when I’m calling
Lord You catch me when I’m falling
And You’ve told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

I am not the leader
I am not leading
Cause I am Yours
And You are my leader
You are leading me

You are the reason that I sing.

I’ve been quite busy with my work and various chores recently, sort of in the mode where I don’t know what, or how to blog anymore. I’ve plenty to share though, I just can’t seems to put them in words. Got stuck. Sigh.

The new layout I’ve mentioned is still on by the way. The whole idea is in my mind already, I just need some time to work it out. Should be able to finish it by the end of this month.. most probably.

Anyway, I finally had my Saturday back last week! It was great but nah, I didn’t go out but stayed at home instead to spend time cleaning up my bedroom (finally after.. months heh), watch tv and surprisingly, internet-less. I had a great day though. *grin* Yesterday was great too, with the girls in Mid Valley. 8 of us watched the Made of Honour. Funny. Touching. Nice. I had fun. We had fun. Nice.

*sleepy* Going to sleep now. Jane.

Everyday © 1999 Houston

What to say, Lord? It’s
You who gave me life and I
Can’t explain just how
Much You mean to me now
That You have saved me, Lord
I give all that I am to You
That everyday I can
Be a light that shines Your name

Everyday, Lord, I’ll
Learn to stand upon Your word
And I pray that I
That I might come to know You more
That You would guide me with every single step I take, that
Everyday I can
Be Your light unto the world

Everyday, it’s You I live for
Everyday, I’ll follow after You
Everyday, I’ll walk with You, my Lord

It’s You I live for, everyday.
This song pretty much explained everything. The way I feel now. =]

Anyway, I have the urge to change my layout. Or maybe modify just a lil?
We’ll see. Soon, very soon.

I miss it.

We had a youth retreat last Thursday, and church family camp at the same place for the next 3 days. We were having theme talk - Charge Up for the year 2008, and used Ephesians 6:10-20 - The Armor of God as the topic. I shall not go into the details, but here’s the random things happened there.

I had a lot of fun pictionary-ing with everyone especially with Dorcas as my partner, Elaine and Sarah, and the last day with Hon Whi, Sue Ann, Jonathan, Lay Yean and Hannah. The “coronation”, “bracelet”, “lungs”, “slippers” and etc will always give us a laugh. xDD I also enjoyed chatting with Elaine in the toilet while we were bathing. Having fun exchanging slippers with Sarah. The GREEN!! team pose was fun! I’m glad the youth enjoyed the games I’ve prepared, especially the word guessing game and the punishment. Lmao. I learnt to be ready to be played back as a game master next time. Lol. I also gained great experience and confidence for being a game master. Daniel is a great dancer by the way. The youth had done an awesome job performing the sketch. Well done guys! *applause* 3 hours taking care of the kids were tiring, but I had fun with them. They were adorable. And Sarah was really very good with the kids. I had a good little chat with Hannah too. I had a great time sitting around with the youth leaders and chat. The sharing time with Samuel, Sarah and Jonathan was great too. We ate a lot of rice, we just need the energy I guess. I enjoyed the snack party and chatting very much. The Rocky, Pringles, peanuts, cheesecake.. I had fun teaching the youth the dance steps for Welcome to this Family and leading the congregation with them. I enjoyed all the worship sessions too. Hopefully I could done a better job worship leading next time. I was glad to see Kenny and Alvin. I missed the time when they were leading the youth. I cried after the sermon while Pastor was praying. I didn’t know why, but my tears just came out like that. This camp allowed me to see and know my church members better. I can’t believe I didn’t really see Jane’s dad in the church before, after so many years. o_o I’m so glad to see the youth’s growing. Everyone was opened and willing to share during the discussion, which seldom happens during Sunday youth. I learnt to appreciate the time spending with each and everyone of them, and the friendship we have. The fact that Dorcas is leaving us soon makes me very sad.. I’m going to ask her out for lunch or dinner whenever I can. I also learnt not to be stubborn in some ways. Thanks Lay Yean for fetching me home too. We had a great conversation in the car.

Last but not lease, I would really like to thank God for the fruitful time at camp. I’ll be regret if I missed out this camp. Though it was tiring, I had tremendous fun. And most importantly, I’ve learnt a lot through out the whole camp. The bonding was great. The activities was great. The fellowship was great. I had a great great awesome time. =]
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