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The author is just an ordinary girl, yet proud to be a child of God. She likes to sing but desire to sing only to boast her Father's Name, for His renown is the desire of her soul. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me." Philippians 4:13 keeps her going. She also likes to eat. Just bomb her with sushi at faywithoute@ gmail.com and she'll get back to you very soon.

It hurts me..

I was sad. I wanted to find a friend, a listener.. but I just couldn’t find anyone to talk to. I do know that my problem is quite annoying to be heard sometimes, cause it’s always the same old one (when talks about him..) or just another problem without a solution.. I cried so badly yesterday night and finally, I turned to God.

She said something hurt me indirectly and without intention. She just wanted to help me to improve my worship leading and I know that. I might be quite sensitive sometimes, but I just couldn’t accept that.. I know I didn’t lead and direct the musician well, but I definitely didn’t neglect any of them including the backup singers. Of course I know they were there behind me playing for me. Of course I care about them and know their existence. In fact, I trusted my musician so much until I was too rely on them.. and I definitely couldn’t sing without them. I still remembered Hon Whi told me this before the service started, “Don’t worry about us. Just focus on your singing and leave the rest to us.” Besides, I also went to ask them personally whether the songs were too difficult to play or to sing. But now. you’re telling me that I neglected them?! I’ve forgotten about them?! You hurt me..

I don’t hate or blame her, just upset that she misunderstood me. I’m still very grateful to have a very supportive worship team, including her and thank God for letting me to be a part of the team though. Just hope that I can overcome this bad feelings.. at least I know God will always be there to help me go through my problems.

Don’t worry. I’m still.. okey.

posted by fay at July 30th, 2007 4:46pm

11 comments

  1. Ari posted at July 31st, 2007 09:44pm

    Hey ne-chan! (sis)

    I’ve gotta hand it to you for putting your faith in the Lord Almighty to help ya when the going got tough (and no one seemed to be able to understand.) Kudos as well for trusting your friends and having faith in them. No, seriously. That deserves credit as well. =)

    Well, I’ll be praying for ya. And I know you’ll get through, and come up tops next worship session! Peace be with you. =D (I still wanna hear you sing!)

  2. fay posted at August 1st, 2007 03:59pm

    *huggles* Thanks sis. And of course I’ll still be singing for the Lord no matter what. Just hope that next time, I’ll be better. Thanks again! x)

  3. Dorcas posted at August 1st, 2007 04:31pm

    hey… don’t feel so bad about it. it’s good that let it all out. Just remember everyone is just working together to serve the Lord and give Him the best. Don’t take things too seriously, because ultimately, He should be the center of it all. *hugzz*

  4. fay posted at August 1st, 2007 04:57pm

    Thanks Dorcas. You’re right, I shouldn’t take things too seriously and forget the purpose of worshipping God.

    Don’t worry btw, I felt better now after expressing and writing all my feelings down here. =)

  5. Johnnyphua posted at August 1st, 2007 09:11pm

    Hey, Fay, we are all just worshipping the Lord together. So, u just have to do your best to give God all the glory. It doesn’t matter how the worship ends up as long as we put God first in our heart.

    Anyway, glad that u’re feeling alright now. Looking forward to see u leading worship in the future. Take care!!!

  6. my_alvin posted at August 4th, 2007 09:16am

    waaaaa.. got blog never link me eh?
    just linked u btw.. heeewe

  7. fay posted at August 4th, 2007 05:02pm

    Thanks John!

    And omg, look who’s here~ Blog link terbongkar tim.. ^^; Haha. Will add your link later.

  8. Aelyn posted at August 6th, 2007 03:07pm

    Hope you’re feeling better. It’s important to stay strong and put all your faith in God, you’re a great girl Faye, don’t let anything make you feel like you aren’t. *hugs*

    Take care :)

  9. fay posted at August 6th, 2007 09:52pm

    *hugglessS* Thanks Aelyn! You’re a great friend. =) You too take care always and ttyl~

  10. Azriel posted at August 14th, 2007 04:55am

    *huggies*. That’s what the Lord is there for: for you! You’ll go past this!

  11. fay posted at August 16th, 2007 02:13pm

    Thanks Azriel! *hug back*

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